“When you go through deep waters, I will be with you” – Isaiah 43:2
This verse has resonated with me a great deal recently. I feel like the Lord just kept saying it to me over and over again this past week as my anxiety crept up in the way it usually does. This anxiety is not necessarily due to any one certain thing, but everything–the small and the big. I like to be in control of all aspects of my life, and when I realize I’m not, it can feel so immensely halting. The unknown can feel truly crippling at times. I’ve struggled to give this control over to God for so long. For too long I’ve fought this battle by myself, not letting anyone else take control. Especially not the One who wants to take it all from me. I am only so strong.
And as I let this verse from Isaiah settle in my mind and in my heart, I realized I don’t need to be afraid anymore. I’ve struggled with this burden for as long as I can remember and I don’t want to fight this battle alone. I don’t need to fight this alone. I can keep trying my plan…or I can yield to God. His grace abounds in deepest waters and I feel God’s grace most when He settles the storms inside me. I know He can use these struggles to draw us closer to Him and this includes the anxiety we may feel in life.
Admitting I struggle with anxiety has been such a rough battle in itself. Anxiety at it’s depths is ugly, and I didn’t want to burden others with my struggles. But that’s where I’m learning about community as well. I’m slowly growing a community around myself that encourages me to draw closer to God when I feel weak. He will never abandon me when I’m afraid. He knows my struggles and fears, and He holds me anyway.
Today I’m thankful that the same God who parted the Red Sea still has His hand and power in all of our circumstances. “The waves and wind still know His name.” So when confusion or hurt, doubt or fears, trials or failures come our way, we can rest securely in a God who works all things – the good, the bad, and the just plain ugly – into His perfect plan.
In those moments that I find myself feeling anxious, I have to remind my heart that just a whisper of His name can cause the mountains to move and the hills to be leveled. God will always show Himself faithful. I am so quick to forget this fact. When worry or hard times hit, I forget all He has done (can I just say how much I relate to the Israelites!) and quickly conjure up scenarios of the worst possible outcome.
Today, I’m taking a moment to look over the last 7 years of my life and choosing to see where my God has shown up. Because truthfully, some days we do have to choose God over worry or anxiousness. Choose to see the good. Choose to trust Him. Choose to remember His faithfulness through the years. Choose to know that He is the God who sees it all and is working in ways we can’t imagine.
The trouble, the pain, just keeps coming and coming – piling up, suffocating, and consuming every thought. You search for hope in the darkness. You barely remember the time, a long time ago, when you thought if you just followed Jesus life would go well, easy. But that was long ago, and your very-real trouble seems to far out-weigh the blessings. Continue reading “God Is At Work In The Ugly”
“Do you ponder the things God has said to you?”
The question from a friend startled me. Truthfully, I’ve been doing a lot more worrying than pondering lately.
Several weeks ago, God asked me to obey Him in making a life-altering decision. It was so freeing, and it’s been awesome to see God work in ways that can only be credited to Him.
But I still don’t have any guarantees of how things will turn out, and there are days when the path of obedience feels lonely and hard. Making the decision was one thing; what follows after is another.
I spend time worrying about how things are going to turn out rather than pondering what’s coming.
What’s the difference? Continue reading ““Do You Ponder?””
W O R R Y
It’s something I struggle with on a regular basis. I worry about finances. I worry about relationships. I worry about time. I worry about the future. I worry about things that have never happened. The “what ifs” plague my mind consistently, swarming with fear and drenched in doubt.
Continue reading “Worry”