A couple months ago, I had an experience that shook my world. A traumatic event, not unlike other things in my past, sent me spinning. All of a sudden I found myself struggling to keep my head above water and just keep breathing. I tried my best to hide it from everyone, though several people kept asking if I was doing okay. I said I was or at least that I didn’t want to talk about it.
Truth was, I was hopeless and not sure what to think or believe. I felt completely worthless and damaged. I was questioning what was true about me, about my life, about God. I sunk into pits of fear and doubt and anger, all familiar places. I reverted to old thought patterns that ultimately are a form of self-harm, because they only serve to tear me down and minimize my worth. Over a 10-year journey, God had brought me so far in working through the old beliefs that came from a painful past, but honestly, I was wondering if I had just been deluding myself into thinking that God could really restore me and redeem my past.
Continue reading “Hanging on Every Word”
“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart…” – Jeremiah 1:5
The phone rang and on the other line I heard a familiar voice that brought me back to a place five years ago.
I love when God rekindles a friendship. On this particular Saturday, that is exactly what He decided to do. My friend and I began discussing life over the past 5 years. The hurts, the regrets, the joys, the mountains, the journey. Through it all, the presence of Christ being a common theme. As the conversation turned to a more serious subject, she said with a smile in her voice, “It is amazing to hear the confidence and security you have in your voice. It wasn’t like that the last time we talked to each other.”
I smiled, gave the credit to God and the work He had done, and was reminded of a time when my life wasn’t so confident or secure.
Continue reading “Identity: The Importance of Friends”
Most of us live in a rather sheltered and comfortable community, and sometimes it can be easy to hear intensely difficult stories and think, “That is so foreign to me. I can not relate at all.” And maybe we write it off because we didn’t find it relative to us, or maybe we glaze over it because we don’t want to hear those kinds of things and expose ourselves to that level of hurt and pain. We want to protect ourselves from the heavy, dark and painful things in this world.
Well, I want to speak into that self-protective tendency in us all. Cause I can do the same thing, especially when my own life is feeling pretty heavy. However, I have a unique perspective on this, because I actually have one of those intense stories as my own story. It has often been difficult for others to hear. It makes them face the evil that exists in this world. An evil that I never had a choice in knowing about.
Continue reading “Uncomfortable Love”