The trouble, the pain, just keeps coming and coming – piling up, suffocating, and consuming every thought. You search for hope in the darkness. You barely remember the time, a long time ago, when you thought if you just followed Jesus life would go well, easy. But that was long ago, and your very-real trouble seems to far out-weigh the blessings. Continue reading “God Is At Work In The Ugly”
My way is better.
I’m pretty sure I wake up thinking that most every day. My brain is already churning, even before coffee (that’s a scary thought) with what I need to get done and how to get it done.
Yes, I’m a pretty good planner. I’m also good at worrying, bossing people around and general anxiety…(cue the jazz hands, but not in a good way).
This cute little graphic with the catchy phrase “God’s Way is Perfect” is sitting on my desk as I write this, and I spy it out of the corner of my eye often during the week. Did I remember this truth when I woke up this morning? Did I really start my day with this in mind? Or did I check off the idea of giving my day and my perfect plans to Him and proceed with my to do list?
Almost one year ago, my nephew Graham killed himself. I have felt several times since then that I should write something about it, but the words never came to me. I could not think of how to start such a post, or how to end it. Still to this day, I really don’t know what to write.
I could write about my usual approach to dealing with such things—compartmentalization. Wall it off. Shut it out. Refuse to think about it. Admittedly an immature, self-centered approach. And one that really didn’t work this time as the raw grief in my brother-in-law’s—Graham’s father—cries pierced right through that veil. Never have I heard that kind of hurt in a voice or seen that kind of pain written across a face.