An Anniversary I’d Like To Forget

writing_suicide_rick

Almost one year ago, my nephew Graham killed himself. I have felt several times since then that I should write something about it, but the words never came to me. I could not think of how to start such a post, or how to end it. Still to this day, I really don’t know what to write.

I could write about my usual approach to dealing with such things—compartmentalization. Wall it off. Shut it out. Refuse to think about it. Admittedly an immature, self-centered approach. And one that really didn’t work this time as the raw grief in my brother-in-law’s—Graham’s father—cries pierced right through that veil. Never have I heard that kind of hurt in a voice or seen that kind of pain written across a face.

Continue reading “An Anniversary I’d Like To Forget”

Gaining Strength Through Vulnerability

A few Sundays ago I was really struggling. The week before had been awful with long days at work, unpleasant drama in some close relationships, and unforeseen and unbudgeted expenses. Think of all the things that drain your energy, and they were probably a part of my week. The weekend hadn’t brought any more rest with it either, so by Sunday morning I pulled into the church parking lot with my emotional tank on E.

I sat through the sermon, and I tried not to cry.

I didn’t tell anyone how down I felt. How hard things were. How in need of prayer I was.

Because I didn’t want anyone to know that I was a hot mess. Continue reading “Gaining Strength Through Vulnerability”