Singleness…UGH! I hate that term. I hate it! I hate the subject. I hate the attitude that so many people have about it. Recently, I was sent an article by a friend and was asked my thoughts on the content. It was a response to the options that single women have today. I was horrified. Horrified and disappointed. Horrified at the perceived “options” that we have and disappointed at the response. While I agreed with it in part, I was bothered by the overall attitude that I am my marital status.
Over the years I’ve been bombarded with articles on how to “embrace” my singleness. How it’s a “gift”. What to do while I wait. How to use my singleness for the glory of God. What if it isn’t about that at all?
I was bothered by the overall attitude that I am my marital status.
Don’t get me wrong, marriage is beautiful. There’s a reason that God calls us His bride. And singleness can be a wonderful opportunity for exploring your passions. At no other time will you have the freedom and time to pursue hobbies, spend time with friends, volunteer and a myriad of other things. But what if we’ve gotten it wrong? What if we’ve taken marriage and singleness and pitted them against each other? What if one isn’t better than the other? What kind of freedom could we have if we stopped comparing our lives to one another; deciding that the single women’s lives are broken and that married men are tied down?
Friends, your identity is not tied to whether you are single, divorced, married, dating, engaged or ‘consciously coupled’ any more than it is tied to your hair color. It affects you, don’t get me wrong, it has a tremendous impact on your life. But then, so do personality, birth order, job, family life and a host of other things, all to varying degrees.
Friends, your identity is not tied to whether you are single, divorced, married, dating, engaged or ‘consciously coupled’ any more than it is tied to your hair color.
Somehow, somewhere along the way, we decided that our marital status defines us. I am done allowing my marital status to define me. I’m choosing to start living my life…the full, abundant life that Christ promised me…the life that is mine to take hold of whether single or married or somewhere in between. He gave me this life to live here and now, no matter my current status.