Answering The Unasked Questions

As I’ve researched foster care, particularly fostering as a single mom, I’ve found the theme of people who won’t understand. The ones who think I’m well-meaning but unwise. The ones who don’t understand my motivation or just can’t wrap their head around the concept at all. So, I decided to answer all the awkward questions that nobody wants to ask. To answer the things that have been in the back of your mind or perhaps that you had never thought of.

Q: Is this because you’re single and you want to be a mom?

A: Um… No. While both the fact that I am single and that I want to be a mom (man, I hope there aren’t any people who plan on fostering who don’t want to be parents out there) are true, neither of those facts is why I’m choosing to do this. This is something that I would be walking towards regardless of my relationship status. The bonus of being single is that I’m the only one that God had to convince of this. I’m fairly certain that if I were married, my husband and I would be having some very real conversations about what our family will look like.

Q: Does this mean that you’ve given up on getting married?

A: Hahahahahaha! Oh, you were serious. No.

Q: Don’t you think it would better for kids to have both a mom and a dad?

A: Yes. I also believe that it is better to have a mom than no mom. To grow up with one parent rather than going from placement to placement or living in a group home. That a safe home is better than an unsafe one.

Q: What if you have to give your child back? Won’t you be sad?

A: I’ll be heartbroken. I can’t even imagine the heartache that I’m signing myself up for, but, I saw this awesome quote that I cannot for the life of me find. It was something along the lines of: When you say, “I could never be a foster parent, I’d get too attached.” What you’re really saying is, “Some children aren’t worth loving.”

When you say, “I could never be a foster parent, I’d get too attached. ” What you’re really saying is, “Some children aren’t worth loving.”

I have one very simple answer for the “why foster care” question…because I can’t know that there are children without parents in my community and do nothing.

foster care map