Soul Wars: A New Hope

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A long time ago (about four decades actually), in a university far, far away (well, it was really only about two hours north of here), it was a time of civil war—between science and my Christian upbringing. It was so gradual, I didn’t even realize it was happening until it was too late. It wasn’t that science overwhelmed my spirituality through brute force and unassailable truth. I didn’t just sit back one day and say, “Well that clinches it, science wins through superior logic!”

Instead, it was more like a slow erosion. None of my physics professors or fellow physics majors (either of them!) flat out said, “God is a myth” or “Jesus was just a fine fellow.” But we all thought science had – or would eventually have – all the answers to all the mysteries of the universe. The Big Bang started things. Evolution shaped everything. The laws of physics and thermodynamics and others controlled things. Einstein explained things. Quarks were the building blocks of all things. We had it all figured out, so what need was there for God?

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Identity: The Importance of Friends

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“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart…” – Jeremiah 1:5


The phone rang and on the other line I heard a familiar voice that brought me back to a place five years ago.

I love when God rekindles a friendship. On this particular Saturday, that is exactly what He decided to do. My friend and I began discussing life over the past 5 years. The hurts, the regrets, the joys, the mountains, the journey. Through it all, the presence of Christ being a common theme. As the conversation turned to a more serious subject, she said with a smile in her voice, “It is amazing to hear the confidence and security you have in your voice. It wasn’t like that the last time we talked to each other.”

I smiled, gave the credit to God and the work He had done, and was reminded of a time when my life wasn’t so confident or secure.

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Wanting More

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I hear people say, and confess I have said it myself, “I want more out of life”. Where and how do I find more? Is it more money, more meetings, more stuff, doing more? Yet, do I understand what will fulfill the hole of “more”? I know my heart now tells me that “more” is Jesus and His Spirit.

So…maybe “more” is less?

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Sometimes True Love Isn’t Nice

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My words have become nice.

What’s wrong with nice?

The problem with nice is that it masquerades as love. It’s like a food spread in a Martha Stewart magazine. The fruit has lipstick on it to make it brighter. The grill marks on the steak are really from a paint stripper. The turkey has been blow torched and stuffed with paper towels. It’s not edible and it’s not real.

A few years ago I was in a hard season. I had moved and was outside of fellowship, I was angry at God about the way some things had gone down in my life, and I was looking for quick connection and comfort.

There I was quite deliberately engaged in an unhealthy relationship that I had no business being in.

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Confessions of a Control Freak

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I’ve never considered myself a control freak. I’d like to think that I fall more under the category of go-with-the-flow. I thrive in organized chaos (my desk cluttered with paintbrushes and about 6 half-read books can attest to that). I love spontaneity and adventures with no determined schedule. Sometimes I eat ice cream for breakfast. I mean, that’s really letting the reigns loose on control if you ask me.

So it’s funny that the Lord is teaching me just how much I try to control my circumstances in my broken, often newborn-Bambi-like (wobbly legs and all) attempt to follow Him.

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An Odd Time & An Odd Place

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My wife and I were sitting in first class on The Chunnel heading to the City of Love, and I was gutted by the absence of connection between us. I had known her for most of my adult life, and I had grown accustomed to the distance that failed to dissipate with time. We grew close early on and then it was as if we hit our ceiling. We had almost raised our family, the nest was emptying out, and I realized that I was emptied out too. Moments like this don’t simply happen but are born and grown over time. She looked up at me and asked me what I was so deep in thought about, “What are you thinking?”

Dare I answer? Dare I speak the raw truth that gripped my mind?

I had been in a trance of thought with my face toward the glass, with this one phrase rolling over and over in my head. I wanted to make this pounding thought audible, but I wrestled. I knew these would be the harshest words she has ever heard from me, and once spoken, there would be no getting them back. And so I did, in a quiet yet resolved tone, I spoke, and each time I repeated the phrase I was more convinced of this truth, “I am done.” The vocal admission was euphoric, and felt like one of the most honest and intimate moments of our marriage.

I am done.

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God Hurt My Face

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Last week, God hurt my face. I’ll tell you all about it, but please bear with me – it takes a while to set up.

One of my hobbies is nature photography. I love to use my camera to capture God’s majesty in a sunrise, sunset, wide open vista, or especially clouds curling over the top of mountain peaks. As my wife says, “Who could doubt there is a God when looking at that.” So years ago, I felt I was in heaven as I set up to photograph clouds rolling over the top of Courthouse Butte in Sedona. I was in the zone. Click, sunrise light reflecting on the rocks with clouds sliding down the rock face. Click again as the sunrise colors kept warming up and the light angles improved and the clouds continued to flow. Click, click, click as the scene changed moment by moment! Continue reading “God Hurt My Face”

Dream Again

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God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, His Spirit deeply and gently within us.
Ephesians 3:20-21 MSG


It was storming. The house was quiet. The power was out. And my step-son and I were curled up watching a movie on my computer while the battery ever so slowly diminished.

As I sat there next to him, the kid’s movie began discussing how out of reach a dream can be and the somewhat unattainable and unrealistic dream needed to be forgotten. My ears seemed to perk up at this somewhat grown up “humor” and I giggled while thinking how true that can be.

Rewind to the start of 2016.

I am 1 year into marriage and still trying to figure out the new God-given roles that I have found myself in. I began to ask God what it was He wanted me to focus on in this brand new year He was about to give me. And I heard two words…

Dream again. Continue reading “Dream Again”