The Fire Of Depression

ForestFire

My mind is a forest full of trees of many different kinds and colors and vibrant life. Thoughts move through it like the wind moving the leaves of my imagination; creativity flows like a stream cutting through the rocks. There are mountains and valleys, rivers and creeks, and there is a strong wind of the Holy Spirit moving it all in His dance. I live in this place where I try to make decisions and control the growth of the forest and tend to the trees. I allow the rains to fall out of the sky and the wind to bring life to everything. Continue reading “The Fire Of Depression”

Life Is Too Short For ‘What Ifs?’

womanflowerpetals

Life is too short to live in constant concern of what might happen…

Give your heart to God and love others like crazy! That’s the way Jesus responds to the Pharisee in Matthew 22:36-39…well that’s paraphrased… this is what it actually says:

“When asked ‘Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?’
Jesus replied: ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself.'”

I’m not sure how you go around in life but far too often the wheels in my head are in full amped mode. Like, what would happen if I did this or didn’t do that? What about that person at work? I’m not sure they like me. What if, what if, what if…??? Oh, what a vicious cycle.


What if, what if, what if…??? Oh, what a vicious cycle.


I’ve lived it, carried it and hung on to those things for dear life and in doing so paralyzed myself from loving, moving forward or enjoying this amazing life I’ve been given.

I’m learning to do more loving and a lot less ‘What if…?’. Yes, we must be wise but at the end of the day, I have to know in Whom I serve. And if I can’t trust God with my unknowns, why would I think keeping them to myself and analyzing them to death are going to make any difference?

So, if you’re missing out on the possible joys of this life because of ‘What if…?’, just try what Jesus said: Love God first and love others like we should be loving ourselves.

Life is short but it’s lovely if…we’ll release it to Him!

Waiting On The River

Dryland


“When the poor and needy search for water and there is none, and their tongues are parched from thirst, then I, the Lord, will answer them. I will open up rivers for them on the high plateaus. I will give them fountains of water in the valleys. I will fill the deserts with pools of water. Rivers fed by springs will flow across the parched ground. I will plant trees in the barren desert  cedar, acacia, myrtle, olive, cypress, fir and pine. I am doing this so all who see this miracle will understand what it means – that it is the Lord who has done this, the Holy One of Israel who created it.” – Isaiah 41:17-20


The desert isn’t a place we like to find ourselves, but we’ve all been there. The seasons of our lives that feel dry and confusing and aimless. Maybe we’re waiting for healing, or we’re in the wake of a death, or everything we’ve built our life around is falling apart. Where is the Lord in all of that?

I would be lying if I said that I never question His goodness in the wilderness. Is He really doing something here? Will this season ever end? I grasp for control because all I want is to be far away from this desolate, bare season of life. But this passage from Isaiah gives me hope.

Maybe the Lord knows exactly what He’s doing in your desert. Maybe He’s asking you to stand firm in the questions. To trust that someday soon He is going to make you strong, firm, and steadfast again. Wait on the Lord.

Wait on Him to open up rivers in the parched desert. Wait on Him to plant trees in the wasteland. And when the deliverance comes, when the heavens open and the rain comes, we will know that only He could do it. Only He could bring us out of our mourning and into a miracle.


“For the Lord comforts Zion; He comforts all her waste places and makes her wilderness like Eden, her desert like the garden of the Lord; joy and gladness will be found in her, Thanksgiving and the voice of song.” – Isaiah 51:3


An Afternoon At A Park In Bucharest

BucharestPark1

We were sitting in the park spread out on blankets. It was a beautiful afternoon and there wasn’t anywhere else we needed to be. We had prayer walked around Bucharest in smaller groups that morning and came together for a time of sharing over a picnic lunch. Most everywhere we went in the city, we stood out: Americans in Eastern Europe. But in the park, sitting down, gathered with Romanian and Brazilian friends, there wasn’t much to notice.

Still it seemed that a gathering of ten and twelve people was an unusual sight. Over the course of the afternoon, we were met with a lot of stares from passersby. Some were merely curious; others appeared less welcoming of our presence—and our prayers. Continue reading “An Afternoon At A Park In Bucharest”

To The Invisible Moms

InvisibleMoms

Mother’s Day is still a couple weeks away, but I’ve been contemplating the concept of motherhood. Between a few thoughtless comments made by other mothers and my two boys being moved to more permanent homes, I was feeling less than confident in my identity as a mother. Continue reading “To The Invisible Moms”

2RC Stories: LaKeisha James

Stories_blog

I grew up in church when I was younger. My parents got divorced when I was 14. I kinda fell out of going to church. I started smoking marijuana at 16, and I was pretty much a user. At 18, I was using other drugs and was just in bad relationships. I ended up getting in a relationship with a girl. I was with her for 5 years. I was 25 whenever we broke up.

I had always been suicidal with depression and stuff like that, and always battled with that. And the place that I was staying at ended up calling the cops that night, because I was trying to leave after I had cut my wrist and stuff. The cops came, and they took me to the hospital. From there I went to jail. Continue reading “2RC Stories: LaKeisha James”

The Way Jesus Treats Women

IMG_0572

I was inspired by one of my childhood favorite singers, Brooke Fraser. I was reminded from a post of hers, on International Women’s Day in early March, of the way Jesus treated women, which is the same way He does today and every day. With mercy when our choices fail Him, with grace when we don’t have any left for ourselves, with humility to invite us to Him, and love to pursue us beyond the pits we find ourselves trapped in. Continue reading “The Way Jesus Treats Women”

I Gave It To Jesus…Kinda

HeCaresForYouPeriod

Have you ever given someone something and later decided you should have kept it? Yes, I have too. I get all hyped about cleaning out closets and other little areas of my home, and later have ‘givers remorse.’ But the one thing I’ve never done is to go and ask for it back. Well, except for that one time I gave God my doubt about the new job I had taken and wondered, “Could I learn it?” Oh yeah, or that time I told God I wanted to give Him my concerns over finances, the kids, moving, anxiety about what people think about me…blah, blah, blah…(wow the list is longer than I thought! Lol!) Continue reading “I Gave It To Jesus…Kinda”

When Healing Doesn’t Come

girlsitonrock

Laying in my bed alone at 3am, I found myself questioning God. This is not something I typically do. I actually have a plaque in my home that says, “Let God Be God!” But on this occasion, I was at the end of my rope, wondering why God would allow my husband’s colon to burst, requiring emergency surgery and a long road to recovery.  This happened just seven months after a tumor was found on his adrenal gland, which required surgery to remove both the gland and tumor.  Continue reading “When Healing Doesn’t Come”

Losing Control

losingcontrol


“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 4:6-7


I could feel my heart beating fast as I thought of the situation being presented to me. It was something I didn’t agree with and something that I felt was not wise. But I was left there, powerless without any way to make it right. As I worried about my little family and the affects it might have on them, I could feel my anxiety growing as I came to a place of not knowing what to do and feeling completely powerless.

We have all been there.

Those places that cause us to lift our hands, completely empty, asking God to show us how to fix it. How to protect. How to mend the brokenness that could be lurking or in the future. What to do. Continue reading “Losing Control”